It shouldn’t be hard to find a good club night in Brighton, the city boast almost 35,000 students and music seems to be on every street corner with almost as many types of music as there is rock sold on the pier.  Last night though, after expecting some fun things, I realized that just because you might be in a music city doesn’t guarantee your going to have a fun night.

Brighton is a love hate city for me if am honest.  There is some great things that the city is really good at (not many to mention) but then there is heaps of things that the city is really bad at.  Usually it’s hard to place the blame on any one person or thing.  That’s what I had thought until I as invited to Tongues, a sort of ‘club night’ in one of the south laines.  I should have know what I was letting myself in for as after looking at their overselling facebook page I realized that this was going to be nothing more than a trendy, hipster wannabe night of generic sound, awful people, and an even more dire venue.

Very few places, nights, or events managed to get the tipple crown but Tongues wins out right as being truly a night that lacked any real punch, life, soul, or creativity.  The night just hummed with small kids with even smaller amounts of originality all hoping that by sitting in the dark, buying overpriced shots, and barely making any effort at all to have a good night would make their night worth it.  This was a massive fail for them all.  Sitting their in the dark, all dressed in the standard trendy wannabe ‘vintage’ fashions trying too hard to not get up and dance.  By the time we got there I thought the whole thing would be in full swing, it wasn’t.

The Fail

It’s easy to see why and how this night doesn’t appeal.  First there where the types of people who go, your desperate to appear unique ad standout yet lacking both the skill or balls to try.  The second is easier still, the music.  I was stood by the bar for some time to try and figure out what was going on and at one point the music stopped cold and I turned to Will and asked him if the place was closing only to be told that ‘No, they’re just shit DJ’s’.  Something I would pick up on later in the evening.  And the third was the over all feel of the place, there was no atmosphere at all and at times I felt like asking Will to slap me really hard just to let me know I was sill alive!

The Music

Imagine being 16 and your parents letting you have a party, they have even agreed to go to a hotel for the night so you and all your mates can have a god solid crazy wild night (and I am blissfully aware that this is a serious hypothetical situation). But then you realize that your musical taste is not what you want to impress all your mates with, in short it’s kind of shite.  So you resort to raiding your dads and older brothers LP’s hoping to find some inspiration. All you can come up with is a trashy 80s centric fusion of disco-pop-alt-trash that will make all your mates stand in the dark corners occasionally nodding their heads.

For Tongues this appears to be all they do, the same crowed, all mates I can only assume, listening to the same lame, lackluster music that they are all hoping is going to make them cool.  They tried too hard and the night became forgettable by 01:30am. If you want to have a boring and weak evening and loads of people stood around looking somber uninteresting then you should really give these guys a call and keep their Facebook in your diary. But if you like music, good company, and a good venue then look anywhere else, this night is guaranteed to give you serious regrets.